Friends Are Lies, Love Is Meaningless
by XreignxonxmeX
Summary: Katniss finally cracks after winning the 1st Hunger Games. What will happen when Gale turns his back on her, and Peeta isn't the guy she thought he was. A riveting tale in the POV of Katniss, Katniss has to find out what she wants, and who she needs.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is in Katniss's point of view, I hope you enjoy! **

**I don't own The Hunger Games, but that would be nice! **

**Have fun. Sorry if the beginning makes little sense, I based it off a dream I had. It starts when Katniss and Peeta get home from the 1****st**** games, however, Cinna was already beaten by the capital. I don't know why, but that's what I dreamt so I went with it. After that, it's all my own. **

**(I did take Collins idea about tracker Jacker Venom. Shh, you'll see :) **** )**

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I had a dream last night where the world was desolate. My hands seemed bare and the place I now called home seemed empty. The visions kept playing through my head; the death of my fellow tributes, the crazy hallucinations. But I knew that I was out of that world, I knew that I shouldn't be afraid of anything, but I was. My instincts were still sharp; I was constantly reaching over my shoulder for my sheath of arrows whenever I heard an alarming sound. It was silly, almost crazy, but I couldn't shake this feeling of everyone being the enemy. When I woke, the insanity clung to me like my own skin. I found no comfort in the confinement of my own home, I only saw evil venturing out of every corner. I walked in a crouch as I went down the stairs of my obscure domicile. I peered over the railing so discreetly I wouldn't have been seen by the highest flying eagle. My mother lied upon the couch sleeping comfortably. I didn't want to hurt her by showing how shaken up I was, so I stood up straight with perfect poise and I walked over as gracefully as I could manage.

"Where's Cinna?" I asked distantly. I didn't even know why I was asking for Cinna. She sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"He's out on the porch, in the back." My eyes instantly flew to the back door, but I remained still. My mother looked at me quizzically.

"Thanks, I'm going to go talk to him," I said quietly through gritted teeth. Before I could catch the dejected look that was bound to be on her face, I rushed to the back door and wrapped my hand tightly around the knob. Instinctively, my face turned calm and my body went into a minor state of relaxation. Cinna always made me feel somewhat put together. I stepped through the door way, almost completely confident, until I caught sight of him.

"Katniss," Cinna said hollowly.

"Cinna…" I whispered, horrified. His eyes were sunken in, his mouth a tiny ball of cracked lips. The clothes on his back clung to him like he was dipped in a vat of red liquid. He looked deranged, almost unrecognizable.

"Oh, Cinna…" I ran over to him and sat directly in front of him. "What happened to you?"

"I always put my feelings towards my work, Katniss," he said with a broken smile. His dresses had all been beautiful, yes, but more defying to the capital than words can say.

"Who did this?" I asked before I could stop myself. I wasn't really sure if I wanted to know.

"It was terrible. After you stepped into the module, I knew someone was going to come and punish me for defying the capital. I just didn't think it would be Flavius and the rest of the design team."

His voiced ended with a low groan as my hand came up to an open wound on his shoulder. My hands shook with fury.

"But that's impossible! Cinna you trusted them, I trusted them! How could they…"

"Katniss…" The way Cinna's voice reigned defeat finally drove me over the edge, and I snapped. Everyone was coming after me again. The arena was just preparation for this battle. Before I could think, I quickly got to my feet, my survival instincts taking over, and I bolted for the woods behind me. I could hear Cinna's faint cries beckoning me back, but I didn't turn around. Only for a moment did I stop, and that was in front of Peeta's home. My eyes flew to his bedroom window, and no doubt he was looking down at me. The horror on my face must have been apparent because he vanished from the window frame. Peeta thought I needed him to comfort me. And the strange thing was, I wanted him to, but that wasn't an option. I already owed Peeta Mellark for multiple things, and I didn't need another.

When Peeta's front door cracked open, the sound made the memories of the trackerjackers nest slamming to the ground fill my ears. "Stay alive, Stay alive." Haymitch's voice rang through my head. Without looking at Peeta, I began my sprint into the woods. "Right away, look for water." I knew exactly where to head, and there was no way Peeta could keep up with my pace with his bad leg. So I slowed down to a light jog. The smell of the woods brought comfort to me. I could hear the cackle of every animals step, the flap of every bird's wing; each sound was like a beautiful song, the entire woods a chorus. But then I heard the small tune of a single mockingjay. My entire body froze, but my ears stayed attentive. Was I imagining this? No, the sound had been real, for it kept playing. Every mockingjay in hearing distance was singing the tune of Tiny Rue.

"Stop…" I whispered, as if the mockingjays would listen to me. But the sound only grew louder. The music swelled, and it kept swelling. The tune took over my brain, and I sunk to the ground. My hands were covering my ears, but the sweet, horrific melody was seeping through my fingertips. I couldn't take it; my head was going to explode.

"STOP!" I screeched as furiously as I could, and… all was silent. Only a voice, so pure and relishing broke through the eerie quiet. But I couldn't recognize it, my mind was completely shattered.

"Rue… Oh Rue…" I was shaking, my entire body rocking slowly back and forth. The voice was getting louder. It was being a nuisance to my solitude. But my mind was clearing, and the voice suddenly became clear. A man's voice. My fathers? No, he passed long ago. Haymitch? No, he was probably drunk or sleeping. Could it be…?

"Katniss! Where are you?" It was Peeta Mellark, coming to save me yet again. How he caught up with me, I had no idea. How long I had been sitting there, I was unaware.

I gained some control of my body and cranked my neck to the thick thumping sounds of Peeta's footsteps. But he was another enemy, another way for me to let down all the people I love. I couldn't stay there, flight was essential. I got to my feet and bounced around wondering which way to move. The voice calling to me was getting closer, Peeta was getting closer.

"Katniss!" he yelled as he broke through a clump of bushes and into the tiny clearing that surrounded me. I knew that when I turned to look at him, I wouldn't be able to turn away, so I lurched forward about to sprint away, but Peeta drove after me and latched onto my arm. We stood there, me standing in front of him, my back to him, with his fingers tightly gripped around my wrist. Eternity passed, but he finally spoke to me.

"What happened?" was all he said, clearly out of breath. What hadn't happened? My mother, Cinna, the entire country of Panem, I had ruined everything. My defiance had brought everything to ruin. Everything I was sure of seemed so wrong; my value of life was even at risk.

"Katniss, talk to me," he said, closing the small gap that had been separating us. I could feel the heat radiating off his chest. Every sense in me was tingling; Peeta hadn't been so tender with me since we arrived home from the arena. I hadn't realized how lonely I had been without him.

"Peeta…" was all I could choke out before he turned me around and pulled me into his arms. I didn't want to cry, it was a sign of weakness, but the tears were pouring down my face and on to his shirt before I could stop them. "Don't let go," I whispered between shuddering sobs.

"Katniss…" was all Peeta said. He said my name over and over again, each time more tender then the one prior. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my ear. The sound of his steady heartbeat was relaxing. The more I calmed down, the more I became aware of Peeta's arms around me, the way his breath came down softly on the top of my head. My eyes remained closed the entire time, so I could soak him up with my less sharp senses. The way his muscles felt against my shoulders, the way his body shifted against me, it was enthralling. When I opened my eyes, it was darker our and we were bother sitting on the ground; how we got that way I did not know.

I pulled away from him, but not enough to loosen my grip around his torso. I tried to move my legs, but they were busy being entwined with Peeta's. His face was golden in the setting sun, his blue eyes reflecting what was left of the day light.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I murmured, pulling my self farther into his lap, "Now I owe you more then before." Peeta made a sound of exasperation, but he didn't move away.

"I know what you can do to make up for it," he mumbled into my ear. As numerous thoughts swept through my mind, I felt him lightly kiss the skin on the left side of my neck. The strangest sensation developed in those spots he began to kiss and I found myself whimpering when his lips weren't moving over my skin. But the treat was too good to be true because Peeta suddenly pulled away and formed a firm grasp on my shoulders.

"Look at me, Katniss!" he said forcefully. As tentatively as I could manage, I met my eyes with Peeta's. The light blue orbs had been replaced with rock solid sapphires. His mouth twisted into a grimace so foul. I could feel the disgust settling within me, but disgust for what?

"You don't get it, do you?" He said solemnly. I shook my head in protest.

"No, I do."

"Then what is it?" Realization swept over me. The disgust lingering in his eyes, it wasn't towards the hunger games, it was towards me.

"I disgust you, don't I?" I whispered, laughing sadly to myself upon recognizing his hatred. His visage showed shock and confusion; he probably didn't think I would understand so quickly. "Everything about me disgusts you. I'm a liar, a pathetic excuse for a human being. And now, even you don't want me. I didn't realize how worthless I was Peeta, I'm sorry."

I went to move away from him, so he wouldn't have to feel my griminess through his fingers, but he latched on even tighter than before.

"Are you crazy?" he said with soft disbelief. Even worse, he started laughing; he was actually laughing. The look on my face must have made him realize that I was serious, because I was serious. At least, I thought I was.

"How could you ever think any of that, Katniss?" He asked incredulously. His voice was growing with soft fury. "I have sacrificed everything for you and you feel… worthless? You feel that you disgust me? Have my efforts to keep you alive and change this dastardly world that you live in, meant nothing? Katniss, if you hadn't lived after the hunger games, I would have nothing left to live for myself." Peeta brushed his thumb lightly across my cheek bone. I leaned into his touch. "Don't ever think you're worthless, Katniss. You're the most valuable Gem that ever existed in this terrible country, and everyone wants to be you. Everyone wants you, especially me."

"Peeta, I didn't know. You never told me…"

"I didn't expect you to know," he whispered, moving his face closer to mine.

"I'm so…"

"Don't say another word." His words spread across my lips, and then his lips took their place. Each kiss was soft, lingering a bit longer than the other. My mind completely adored the intimate sensation. I forgot about thinking and gave myself to Peeta. His kisses were getting progressively more aggressive; more desperate. I found myself yearning for him just as much as he was yearning for me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this one is so short! It's aggravating to me too because I despise short things. **

**The next one will be up, so no need to fret! Enjoy :) **

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**"Oh…" I moaned as his fingers lightly brushed my mid section. I could see Peeta's smirk as he bent down and placed a tender kiss on my jaw. I arched my neck into his kiss, begging for his lips to swallow every inch of my skin. But Peeta backed away and looked deep into my eyes. The sun had gone down without my acknowledgement, and we were sitting under the sheer moonlight.

"Katniss…" he whispered, smoothing my hair down with his palm, "What I wouldn't do for you." This statement shocked me, but at the same time made me feel warm. The only problem was, that I didn't know which feeling was stronger.

"This isn't fair, Peeta," I said, making my decision. His facial expression went from completely vulnerable…and full of love, to undeniably hard. Almost as if he was expecting me to say this. But he must have felt as flabbergasted as I, for we both stared at each other without words.

"Not fair for whom?" He asked softly but emotionlessly, as if he was suspecting my answer.

"For me," I said instantaneously. His eyes bulged at my statement, but quickly returned to their blank state. It looked like he was about to say something but he shut his lips and turned away in a grimace.

"Peeta?" I inquired gently. I reached out to touch his arm, but he turned around and fiercely slapped my hand away.

"Not fair? Not fair for_ you_, Katniss?" He whispered through clenched teeth. "How can you say me having feelings for you is… unfair? Basically, you are saying I don't mean anything to you. Well if that's true, why am I still here? Why are you still begging for my kisses? Why have I tried so hard to keep you and me alive, when in the end, I would end up feeling dead? I don't get it! I just don't understand. What more do I have to do to win your heart? Is saving your life not enough for you? Is loving you not enough for you? What more can I do, Katniss? I'm lost, completely lost." Peeta's face darkened and he stood up and quickly moved out of the moonlight and into the darkness.

I have made Peeta's life a living hell.

I haunt him more than the games do.

I am a monster.

My eyes were frozen on the place where Peeta sat, the place where he showed me how much I've been crushing his soul. And just like that, I was alone again.

"Peeta…" I whispered into the abyss lying before me. His silhouette was fading into the darkness as he walked farther and farther away from me. I watched him slowly disappear into the woods when something inside me cracked. I didn't want to be alone; I didn't want to break the boy who gave me everything when I had nothing.

With my mind made up, I walked out of the clearing, out of the moonlight, and into a world where I couldn't run away any longer. A world where I belonged to Peeta, and he belonged to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Katniss is such a G. Can't stand how much I love her. **

**Hope you like it!

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**"Peeta!" I shouted, running swiftly through the forest. The woods seemed to open up into the perfect path for me to run to him. In reality, it wouldn't have been that hard to track him down because he was as quiet as the fire balls that crashed down on me during the games. But my mind was clouded and my senses were shot. I couldn't think of anything but finding him.

I ran through the forest a while longer until the dark of the night had swallowed me whole. I knew I was somewhere close to civilization, but it was all so unappealing. A tree, with leaves the hovered near the ground like a roof, looked more hospitable than my own home. I sat down where the soft earth met the rough bark of the tree trunk. The stars no longer lingered in the bleak sky, and I realized for the first time, that I was really alone. The through left me somewhat unsettled but, at the same time, somewhat reassured. Being in a vacant wilderness, weaponless, should be alarming; the unknown predators, the poisonous plants could both be the end of me. But the thoughts that there was no one who could capture my privacy, take away my true emotions, were comforting beyond belief. It was so entirely comforting, the memories of civilization, erased completely from my mind.

The only thing that mattered to me was the dark of the night, the isolation. Nothing could ever break my newly founded bond with the eternal shadows. Maybe, not even love.

A trance began to overtake me and soon my sight was blind and visions of a boy danced through my head. A smile played at the corners of his infallible lips and I could tell that the grin was because of me. He had the face of a knight, more gentle and chivalrous than any man I have ever seen. His legs were bringing him closer to me every second. But human contact meant no privacy, no chance at being an individual. The mental pain began to swell and I could the despair descending upon me. My stomach was in knots. Suddenly, the boys joyous demeanor plummeted to a face full of iniquity. He stomped up to me and grabbed my shoulders, shaking them roughly. My muscled tensed up and my joints became unbelievably stiff. Every muscle in my body was immobile except for my face.

"Ugh…" I managed to moan in agony as his grip tightened around my shoulders. It felt like his fingers were breaking the bones and ripping off the skin around them. But I couldn't scramble away, I couldn't even blink. I could only feel the agonizing pain of my breaking shoulders. In the distance of my mind, I could hear the boy screaming my name, over and over again. Everything was havoc. His voice was so dreadfully desperate; it was burning holes straight through my ears. My entire body was on fire. Sweat was pouring down my porcelain skin, drowning me. I was fading out of the world, with nothing to hang on to…

"Katniss!" At that, my eyes snapped open, but the darkness of the night was still wavering in the sky. Two strong hands were, in fact, grabbing my shoulders. And I was drenched, but not from sweat, but from pouring rain.

"Peeta?" I asked numbly, only wishing it was him coming to my rescue again. But the way the hands tightened around my shoulders told me different.

"You're burning up," the boy said. The moon was showing down through a small break in clouds, the light accenting the dark face of the man standing above me. Two pairs of golden brown eyes stared down at me with worry, two eyes just like my own.

"Gale…" He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me to his chest, cradling me in his arms. It wasn't until then that I realized how weak I was.

"Don't speak, you'll lose your strength. " Somehow, I managed to respond.

"I don't think I have any strength left, Gale." My eyes began to close, but Gale shook me in his arms.

"Don't go to sleep, Katniss. You have to stay awake," He said after my eyes fluttered open. For a brief moment, I forgot about the pain and felt the chill of the rain against my bare skin. The shivers were instantaneous.

"This is bad, Gale." I whispered through chattering teeth.

"I won't let anything happen to you." With that, he began walking through the woods, towards civilization. Even though civilization was the last place I wanted to be, I didn't have the energy to fight back. "Stay awake, Katniss. Just until we get you to a doctor." His words kept playing themselves over in my head every time I began to drift. But I didn't want to stay awake; I wanted to dream. Because that's where Peeta would be.

"Gale, Where's Peeta?" I asked quietly, forgetting the strain between him and Peeta. At the mention of his name, Gale faltered and cringed.

"He left you to die, Katniss. It doesn't matter where he is." The pain of his words made the darkness overwhelm me, and the last thing I heard was Gale shouting my name.


	4. Chapter 4

**I love the rivalry between Peeta and Gale. **

**P.S. Don't forget to R&R! Please and Thank you :)**

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**When I awoke, I was in my room, in my house in the victor's village. The sun was shinning dully through the two large glass windows before me.

My head was groggy and every single limb and muscle in my body felt like a dried out beaten senseless piece of wood. I ached with a pain so great, I dared not even try to move. The memories of how I arrived in this state were iffy, until I heard the quiet but reminding bickering outside my bedroom door.

"This is not the time to be picking a fight with me! Katniss is in pain and she needs the two people she cares about the most happy and by her side!"

Peeta.

"But it's your fault you selfish bastard! We wouldn't have to be by her side in the first place if you hadn't left her to rot in the woods! Its like you want her to disappear!"

Gale.

Their arguing confused me. The past few days were still foggy in my mind, but slowly, bits and pieces of the memories flowed back to me. Peeta and I kissing. Him smacking my hand away. Collapsing in front of the tree. The disappointment of Gale finding me and not Peeta. Gales desperate shouts to keep me conscious. Every second of the memories were horrifying, and with them my body began to tremble. But something was wrong with me, and the trembling caused me more pain than I could handle. I couldn't help but let out a disgruntled moan.

It must have been loud, because both of the boys came crashing through the door and were on the sides of my bed before I could blink. No looks of contempt lingered on their faces.

"Go get her mother. Tell everyone she's awake," Peeta said. I could feel the tension emanating from Gale at the submissive dismissal. But he just nodded his head tersely and walked out of the room. With his absence, Peeta's presence was stronger, more desperate. His countenance was futile, completely full of despair. And guilt, guilt that didn't belong there.

"Katniss…" he whispered, kneeling down so his elbows rested gently on the side of my bed, "I'm so sorry." He looked ten times worse than I had ever seen him before, and frankly I didn't like it. Peeta had given me unconditional love that I took for granted. Was there anyway I could stop owing the boy with the bread? I wasn't sure, but I knew that we were on a mission to protect each other. So, with all the strength I could muster up, I pulled my hand from underneath the bedspread and rested it upon Peeta's elbow with a painful flop. I let out a groan in anguish. He gripped my hand softly, noting that I was in immense amounts of pain.

"Still trying to comfort me while you're in more pain than I could ever imagine," he murmured with a reluctant laugh. He rubbed his thumb back and forth across the top of my hand while we waited for Gale. We sat there, staring intently at each other. The memories of that night in the woods played like a film strip in Peeta's eyes. My selfish face, his caring touch, the unending aloneness that Peeta surrounded himself with as he practically cried on his walk back to his home. I could feel the emotions running through him. The guilt threatened to consume me, so I ungracefully, jerked my head away. It was definitely the wrong move, because in an instant, every nerve ending in my neck as on fire. My teeth clenched together as I breathed in painful gasps.

"Katniss! What can I do? What should I…" The look in my eyes was enough to tell Peeta to just sit down and shut up. His hand gripped tighter around mine, but I loosened my grip and in a weird jerky way and motioned for him to climb into bed next to me. Peeta lifted the sheets and rearranged himself so I was in between his legs, my back against his chest. He wrapped his arms gently around me. I murmured in approval as he ran his hands up and down my stiff muscles. He smiled against my hair. But I didn't want to get too wrapped up in his touch, because I needed answers, and I needed my mind somewhat clear.

"Peeta, what even happened to me…?" I croaked out of my stinging throat. His smile turned into a grimace.

"You were… gone. Lost in the woods for three days, but Gale found you and brought you back." Peeta paused to take in a frustrated breath. "And you were out for almost two days. We didn't think you were going to…" He tightened his grip on me, but not enough for it to hurt. His unfathomable sorrows were leaking on to me, and the pain was more than I could take. His pain was partly because of my feeble state, but more because of what I said to him back in the woods and after the games. His unrequited love for me was his darkest and greatest weakness, his greatest flaw.

"I'm sorry, for what I said to you, Peeta."

"It's not just that, Katniss," he said almost nonchalantly. "But we'll talk about that later. Right now, we have bigger problems." Right on cue, Gale walked through the door. "Speak of the devil…" I turned my head so I could see Gale's entire build; tan, muscular, and fuming.

"Mellark, what do you think you are—."

"No, Gale," I said clearly enough for his eyes to bulge, "it wasn't Peeta's fault." He took one step closer, the hurt apparent in his eyes.

"But you know those woods, Katniss! How could you have possibly gotten lost? Worse than lost, stranded?" He said the words they were the most incredulous words ever spoken.

I peered at him through tired eyes. "Not now, Gale, please. There are so many things you don't understand. Just give me time to heal from… whatever this is and then I'll explain."

Gales face dropped into an even deeper frown.

"You didn't _tell _her?" He said his voice monotone. I felt Peeta go rigid beneath me.

"I… couldn't." Peeta stated painfully.

"Tell me what?" Peeta and Gale stared at each other, the silence dawning on us. The aura surrounding us darkened and a strange type of fear was crawling up my body.

"Don't say it, Gale! Not yet. We don't know for sure…"

"Katniss, you were attacked by the Capital. Not full blown attacked, but they did something to you. We are not sure. But if we can't figure it out soon, your chances of surviving are slim. And it's all because of you Mellark! You rotten piece of shit!"

They started arguing back and forth, insanity finally reaching both of them. But my mind was frozen on Gale's words. _Your chances of surviving are slim. _It was a little bit frightening, but the threat of death was nothing but familiar to me. I had been thrown towards death my entire life, only escaping it by a hair every time. I could have tried to fight this, because I had been fighting death all along. But, I wasn't sure I wanted to. I wasn't sure I was worth saving. The capital wanted me dead. A lot of people wanted me dead. And I think I was one of them.

Gale said there was nothing that Prim and my mother could do, unless by some kind of miracle they figured out the cause and the antidote. But the chance of another miracle saving my life seemed… crazy. My miracle meter had run out, I was sure of it. Peeta couldn't save me now, not like he had done millions of time before. Gale was practically on the verge of losing himself. And I… didn't have the will to stick around and watch the people I love go crazy over the monstrosity I created.

"It okay," I said, interrupting their argument. Gale stared at me with a confused eye, and I looked him straight in the eye and said, "There's no helping a life that's already gave up on living."


	5. Chapter 5

The entire room was silence. Gale's legs gave out and he slumped to the floor. Peeta held his breath beneath me. The first one to speak was Gale.

"Are you… out of your mind?" he mumbled, maybe only for himself to hear. But the words seemed like screams in the silence we created. And then all havoc broke loose. Peeta began chanting the words I'm sorry, over and over again, like they could heal all of the pain that has happened to us through the past year. Gale just sat on the floor, his head buried in his hands, murmuring nonsense. But I felt nothing, only the pain running through my muscles.

But then, and idea exploded through my mind. And I had no choice but to put it to use. It was riveting, ingenious, and practical… and, it might even save my life.

"Peeta, Gale, listen to me," I said in the most serious voice I could manage, "I want you both to make a deal with me. And I know it won't be easy, but it's the only way that the both of you can… save me." Both of them perked up at that. Peeta got out from the bed and stood next to Gale. The tension between them was so obvious; it made me want to scream.

"I need you both to work together, be friends, do something other than what you are doing right now!" The words exploded out of me like a whip, because both of them recoiled. They glanced at each other then looked back at me. "I can't stand seeing you both fight, nonetheless over me! You've both ignored me ever since I arrived home from the games, so why are you fighting over whose fault it is that I'm in this state? You both abandoned me, and now it's time to suck it up, and face reality. Either work together to keep me sane, or don't bother coming here at all." They stared at me, open mouthed. I knew I had their attention, and I needed to go in for the kill. My voice softened, and whispered. "I would much rather die alone, then watch the people I love so dearly kill me with their words."

And when the one single tear spilled over Peeta's eye, I knew I had caught them.

"Now, both of you, get my mother and Prim. Maybe they figured something out." They looked at each other, and hesitated.

"But, Katniss…." Peeta said.

"Go! Now!" I yelled a little too loudly, because the burning sensation returned and I began coughing. But before they could rush to my side, I put up a shaky hand halting them. The look in my eyes must have been forceful, because they both bolted out of the room, their frantic steps banging rowdily against the stairs.

But the pain of staying awake any longer was so severe, and the darkness swept over me again before I could register what was happening.

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"Peeta! Gale! Stop it! STOP IT!" Prim's squeaky voice broke through the silence.

"Gale, Katniss wouldn't want us fighting like this!" said Peeta.

"What Katniss doesn't know won't hurt her! Well… in your case, Mellark, I guess it would."

"Say another word, Gale and I swear I'll -!"

"You think you scare me, you insensitive jerk? You obviously have no idea what I'm made of…"

"BOYS! Stop it!" Prim screamed. It was certainly a blood curdling scream, because both boys ceased all discussion. "Katniss doesn't need this, and she definitely doesn't want both of you fighting. She already feels guilty about hurting both of you; she doesn't need to feel any more guilt, stress, or sadness because of you two imbeciles arguing! Now, either buck up and be there for her, or get out. I am perfectly able to take care of my sister without your help. Especially now that we gave her the antidote. We just have to wait for her to wake up."

At her words, I recognized the difference in the way I was feeling. It wasn't exactly normal, but it wasn't the same intense pain sensations all through my body. I almost felt like I was floating; every part of my body was numb with the ignorant bliss. And with my discovery, I was able to open my eyes. Peeta and Prim stared at me with amazement and excitement burning in their eyes. But Gale's eyes were glazed over, and I couldn't tell if he was looking at me, or at the floor.

"It worked! It actually worked!" Prim shouted with triumph.

"Prim, you are a genius!" Peeta picked up my sister and twirled her around in his arms. It was obvious this was another step in the right direction.

Prim explained to me how they found trackerjacker venom in my blood stream that was slowly poisoning me and shutting down all of my ability to move. No one had any idea about how the Capital could have found me stranded in the woods. And no one had any clue why the Capital came after me in such an obvious way. There were no stings from the trackerjackers the appeared on my body, so Prim concluded that it was injected into me through a needle. But I knew something was strange. How could the Capital have possibly known that I was in the woods? There weren't cameras set up in the woods since the districts were blocked in by the electrical fences. Someone must have done something to let the Capital know that I went into the woods on a daily basis. And by the ecstatic attitude Peeta was portraying, I could tell he wasn't the culprit. And the only other person that knew I constantly went into the woods was Gale. It couldn't possibly be my best friend. I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't.

But something was nagging at me. Maybe it was the way his eyes stayed hollow at my recovery. Or maybe it was the way he seemed a little hesitant to talk to Peeta and Prim. But I couldn't really figure it out, and I wasn't sure I wanted to.


	6. Chapter 6

For the next few days, Peeta, Gale, and Prim all took shifts in taking care of me. Each person waited on me for two hours, and then they switched. But Peeta always stayed the entire night, even though I told him I was fine on my own. He hinted with his eyes that it would crush him to leave me even for a second, so I let him stay. The nights were shorter when Peeta was around. Everything wasn't so illustriously frightening. But the third day of the shift, I awoke to Gale sitting on the edge of my bed, instead of Peeta.

"Hey, Catnip," he said with an exhausted demeanor. His eyes softened when I shot him a small smile.

"What are you doing here so early?" I asked quietly. The question I really wanted to ask was where Peeta was, but I knew that it would only make him upset.

"I came in the middle of the night. Peeta was suffering from sleep deprivation, so I told him to get some rest. I hope that's alright with you."

"More than alright, Gale…" I couldn't hide the bit of surprise that seeped into my voice, but Gale didn't seem to catch on. He was in a different world.

We sat there in silence for a while, letting the serenity of our isolation speak for us. My best friend sat before me, and I felt calmer than I had in a long time. His gentle brown eyes were my familiar companions. His entire soul leaked through his eyes, even when he wanted to keep his thoughts private. At that moment, I could sense that something was truly wrong with Gale. His façade wasn't very convincing. His entire body was practically ablaze with frustration and worry. Nothing could hide the deep circles that were under his eyes; he could barely keep his eyes open at all. I pictured him from a far away distance. The light shining in from the window would bounce off his golden skin, and his eyes would blend with the shimmering rays of sunlight. But the sunlight did not quite reach his eyes. It wavered shortly and then disappeared all together, right before his face. But his demeanor didn't become hard; it softened at the relief of being thrust into the darkness. His body was screaming with ache, like the light was poison and the darkness the antidote. My reverie was interrupted when Gale spoke,

"Katniss, there's been something I've wanted to tell you, and I don't know if you're ready to here this but…"

"Why did you do it?" I asked. "Why are you working with the Capital?"

Gale didn't look the slightest bit surprised, but I was. I didn't know where that question came from; it just stumbled out of my mouth.

"I knew you were sharper than that, Katniss. Just please let me explain."

"Explain! Right, after you tried to kill me? And now you're begging for my forgiveness?"

"Please, Katniss, you don't understand…" Gale whimpered softly. But I couldn't stop, I was on fire.

"Not understand! Of course I understand! You're jealous, jealous that I have all the glory and the fame and the love! You're disgusting, menial, everything a man shouldn't be! And I trusted you! I _loved_ you! I –."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Gale roared, suddenly flaring up with flames of his own. His outburst shut me up. "You don't know anything, Katniss. Please, just give me a chance to explain." He sounded so desperate, that I couldn't say no. I gave him a nod of my head and he continued.

"It started, right before you won the games," he said painfully, "President Snow, he was in my house after I came back from the mines one day. I didn't know what he wanted, and I didn't want to know. I wanted to kill him for what he made you go through, for what he did to the entire country of Panem, but he wasn't there for blood. He was there for a proposition. He… he said that there was something I could do, to change the way I was living my life. I could give my family everything they ever needed and wanted. Snow kept telling me all the things I would receive, but he didn't unveil the actual proposition until my teeth were already sunk into the endless possibilities for my family. He said, 'the only thing you will have to do for me, boy, is bring me the girl.' I didn't even think about his words, but I immediately accepted. I signed a contract that said I had to bring you to Snow, dead. When I read the paper, my entire world shattered, because the bottom of the paper said the worst thing. 'If you do not complete your end of the bargain, the capital will destroy every member of your family, including you.' I didn't want do die, Katniss!" Gale's voice broke into hysteria. "I've worked my entire life trying to create a better life for my family, and then I ruined it! I'm a coward; I didn't want to leave everything I've created behind. So, I followed orders, did missions for the Capital. All the while, I was hoping you would die in the arena so I wouldn't have to kill you myself."

His voice choked, but he quickly continued, "But when you won, when the both of you won, I was angry, so angry at Peeta for keeping you alive. It's all so contradicting because I wanted you home and alive more than anything else! But I had to kill you. I plotted for weeks, trying to figure out a way to kill you without making it obvious, and I succeeded. But when I injected the venom into you, and I saw your life draining from your body, I knew I couldn't let you go. I should have just let you die in the woods, let Mellark take the blame, and then bring you the Snow. But I couldn't. You were my best friend for so many years, and I signed a contract with the devil. I bet away your life, for my own selfish sake. Katniss, I know it sounds bad, but I'm going to fix it, somehow, someway I will. You just have to have faith in me, Please, stay on my side."

Gale said too many things at once, and I couldn't comprehend them all. The only thing I knew, the only emotion I could feel, was disappointment.

"Get out," I stated blandly.

"But, Katniss, please…"

"I said get out of here!" He looked at me with pleading eyes, but I held his stare with a cold, unnerving look. "Don't come back. Until I call for you. Don't go near me, Peeta, Prim, or my mother."

"Katniss, don't do this…" His voice implored for my mercy, but I was unyielding.

"Leave." Gale stood up, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Each foot step he took the door was a tear in my heart, but I didn't care. As the door shut behind him, a new sense of tiredness overwhelmed me. It wasn't sickness, it wasn't fatigue. It was simply the feeling of not wanting to be awake. I laid down and drifted off, with unshed tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.


End file.
